Dancing with Yourself (and Surviving WFH)

Hi friends! Strange times. If you know me personally, you know the following about me: 1) I’m contently unattached and hang out by myself (and my dog) a lot, and happily so; 2) that I often encourage others to hang out with themselves; and, 3) I’m especially adept at giving others unsolicited advice on how to hang out with themselves. As you might know from past posts, I think hanging out with yourself is the key to unlocking one’s greatest potential.

This said, and as someone who works from home quite a bit, I wanted to share some of my personal suggestions for that work from home life and for this time that makes you spend time with yourself.

So, I want to start with this: Why is hanging out with yourself awesome?

1. Hanging out with yourself develops your sense of self, which ultimately translates into better networking and interpersonal skills. I have found that, the more I know about who I am, what I care about, and what I like, the easier it is for me to communicate my needs and desires to others.

2. Life, as we see now, will throw you many curveballs. Due to our finite nature as individual human beings, we each individually live our own lives. We might intertwine with our family, our friends, our pets, others in our community, but, ultimately, as Georges Bataille noted in the introduction to his work "Eroticism: Death and Sensuality." we are each destined to live and die our own individual lives. We cannot defeat what Bataille notes as our inherent “discontinuity” as finite individual beings with individual births and deaths. Side note: Lascivious title aside, this book is among my favorites and explores the way we use physical intimacy as a way to console ourselves in light of our inherent "discontinuity" as finite individuals with individual lives to live and die. I know I just got super existential, but I say this because you will ultimately be stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. Hopefully, your loved ones will be with you for a majority of that time, but it is an incontrovertible fact that the person you will spend the most time with during the course of your life is…… You.

If you know yourself, you can communicate what you need and want to the external world. If you know yourself, you know how to soothe yourself in the storm when life's storms leave you fending for yourself.

3. You're awesome, so it follows that hanging out with yourself, when undertaken with honor to who you really are, makeup free and on your couch, can be the most incredible awakening of your life. Why do I know this? I had to hang out with myself for a while after my divorce. After 8 years of being with the wrong person, largely because I didn't know myself well enough to know what I wanted or needed in a relationship, I had to spend time learning about ME. Scary, right? Potentially boring? I had to understand what I wanted in my life, what kind of dinners I would make for myself when it was just me, what I would do when I had free time and no partner to talk to about what to do, what to do when I was sick and alone. Now, this doesn't mean that I was, or am, unloved. I have an extremely tight knit family, but geographically, we are spread out, and often, if I'm sick, I have to take care of myself. But, that's OK, because I typically know how to take the steps needed to take care of myself. Ok, now that my street credit for this post has been established, I want to share with you a few tips for establishing your "new normal" with working from home (WFH) and this time of necessary solo hibernation and for how to make the most out of this time by yourself.

Tips for Working from Home like the Boss that You Are

1. Take breaks. For example, if you have a dog, take a 20-30 minute with your dog every few hours. Exercise the necessary precautions when you're outside and maintain social distancing protocols, but you can be outside, take in nature, and reset your mind. This is great because, at this point, there are no boundaries between your work and home. That said, it is crucial for you to take breaks, like you would at the office for lunch or coffee, to make sure you don't drown in working from home.

You might be asking, "Why would I drown in working from home? This is awesome!" Yes, WFM is awesome, but it can lend itself to working more efficiently and for longer hours due to the convenience of working from home.

If you don't have a dog, try reading during breaks or audiobooks! Check out the Get Lifted Library for suggestions.

PS - I believe new Audible subscribers get a free credit during the trial, and the New York Public Library is also making hundreds of thousands of books available during this time.

2. Set boundaries. As a follow-up to my first point, set boundaries with your work and home. My dog tends to indicate when my work day needs to take pauses, either because he wants to take a break outside or wants to play. But, just because you can work all the time at home doesn't mean you have to or should. Boundaries matter. Stop feeling guilty that you're not at the office. No one else is. It would be selfish for you to go in.

3. Get comfy! One of my favorite parts of adding WFH days to my work schedule is the positive consequences for my skin! I don't wear makeup or blow dry my hair after showering when I work from home, which means that my skin benefits from a makeup free day, my hair benefits from a heat-free day, and my wallet benefits from non-use of my makeup and electricity. If you don't have an appropriate amount of sweats, check out Old Navy for cheap options for joggers and sweats.

5. Create a workspace. Make sure that the essential office supplies you need are on hand, such as notepads, staplers, pens, printers, envelopes, etc. These will, of course, vary on your industry, but your efficiency will increase if you create a central location for these items.

6. Establish a routine. For me, I like to wake up at 7 am every single day to get ready, take a healthy walk with my pup, and feed him, while watching/listening to the news (Audible has a great New York Times daily digest included with membership).

Now, on to what to do when you’re social distancing, at home, and not working…

How to Hang Out with Yourself when You're Not Working From Home

1. Read or "audio-read". My eyes tend to be weary by the end of a day of contract review and legal correspondence drafting. For me, Audible and the entry of audiobooks into my daily life has been revolutionary. I listen to audiobooks whenever I walk the dog, drive, get ready, and before bed. One of the best parts of audiobooks, for me, is that many are read by the original author. Listening to Michelle Obama talk about her father or Sophia Chang talk about the loss of one of her closest friends - this is an incredible experience. Some of the audiobooks on Audible, like music industry powerhouse Sophia Chang’s audiobook on Audible "The Baddest Bitch in the Room" and "Heads Will Roll" by SNL's Kate McKinnon, are truly auditory experiences and not just books on tape. If you don't like reading, try audiobooks, and if you do like reading, read! PS - I believe new Audible subscribers get a free credit during the trial. The New York Public Library is also making hundreds of thousands of books available during this time. A few of our favorite titles, all of which are also available in Audiobook format, are in our Get Lifted Library: Read.

2. Check out some of the amazing spaces of representation in television and movies. We have posted a new “wing” of The Get Lifted Library for our favorite shows. Check it out here. Like our reading library, our selections are diversity-driven, featuring women and minorities and/or focused on topics relating to diversity, equality, inclusion, and representation. Movies and podcasts to come!

3. Try adult coloring. Stay with me here. One of my dear friends gave me an adult coloring book after my divorce. It wasn't until recently that I found the calming nature of taking a set of colored pencils and working through vulgar words in color. Adult coloring books, like these on Amazon, are complex, beautiful, and supremely gratifying to complete. Try it. It's also a great activity to do with your children if you're so inclined. I've tried this with some of my younger friends, and it's such a fun way to do the same activity together.

4. Make a vision board or collage. Think about what life will be like after the current pandemic. It will be different. But, for me, this is a moment to think about what I want the rest of 2020 to look like. It's a moment to consider what my life will be when I restart. I can reorganize my workflows, re-brand where needed, and do a little dreaming.

5. Foster a pet. There are many shelters in need. Check out the resources here through the Petco Foundation if you're interested.

6. Check out one of the many virtual tours from some of the nation's best museums, or take a free virtual dance class!

7. Plan a vacation for when COVID ends. You don't have to book, but you can certainly window shop and plan.

8. Spring clean! Check out ThredUp for an easy way to remotely donate and consign your unwanted clothes. Also, my friend Annie Frances has a fantastic blog - Not Just Annie Style - on taking inventory of your wardrobe and deciding what should stay and what should go.

9. Dream up your side hustle. Have a thing you’ve wanted to do but haven’t had the time? Now is the time to let your dreams fly. I’m a fan of dry erase wall paper and sketching out ideas. Design your business plan now. Feel free to email us for suggestions. Sketch ideas, write content, think of a logo and business name. Take some time to dream with intention.

10. Call your family and friends. Pick up the phone, dial a number, and call people. You'll be amazed at how connected you can feel with conversations over the phone. Stop texting. Try calling. It is intentional time when you call the people for a conversation. Texting is a constant interruption of any project that you might be working on. It lessens the intention of what is in front of you, and it increases the chances that you will not complete your project.

Here's the silver lining. Yes, everything is scary and tentative right now. There's a ton of information coming at us at rapid speed, and we are confronting a situation of first impression for many of us. You cannot control the external world, but you can control yourself. Take advantage of this alone time to invest in learning about yourself, which is an investment with a great ROI. The only rule is that being bored is not an option.

In closing, don't be afraid of this time by yourself. Invest in your wilder interests and take a deep dive into things that you haven't had a time to explore before.

As Paulo Coelho said: "If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself."

And, as Billy Idol says: "Oh, oh, dancing with myself / Well, there's nothing to lose / And there's nothing to prove." For once, for this brief moment, you have nothing to prove, so dance with yourself, and don’t forget to smile when you’re doing it. It’s more fun that way.

Stay strong and find the positives during this crazy time. We will get through this together, and you will get through this by betting on your fondness of self.

Yours, in Power,

Priti

aka The Boss Lady’s Lawyer